My Daddy- a gift giver for kings

So, many of you have heard me talk about my Daddy. Well, if you haven't; you've missed some damn good stories. He's quite the character.

Well, let's just say that he didn't wear his dentures to my wedding; he brought a bag of bills and money orders for me to mail out for him to my wedding, and he's a real life hoarder. Like seriously. However, he is who he is. He loves me. I'm pretty certain of that and he would give me anything...

Well, he actually gives me anything and everything. I usually go see him every Sunday. It never fails, he always has a gift for me. I've decided to document these gifts, so that everyone can share in my fun.

Although I do poke fun and laugh, and many times/most times, trash the gifts; I do love the thought of them. They're from my Daddy.


So, here are pics from the recent gifts that I've received from him.


Exhibit #1- A huge life sized turquoise teddy bear


You can't really appreciate the beauty of the stuffed animal, b/c of the odd angle that I took the picture. However, there's an interesting story to accommodate this present. My father is a regular at a neighborhood hole in the wall. He goes almost every day to partake in drink or two or three or four. Anyhoo, for the past few years, he's decided to throw a Christmas Party for friends and family at this place. The club is literally the size of my family room. Anyway, he really prepares for this and spends crazy amounts of money on gifts for attendees, friends, and the bartenders and waitresses at this spot. This year, like all others, I arrive to spend my obligatory 30 minutes. I walk in and notice the bear and my father says, "Baby, that's yours." He says this with a huge smile as if it's a brand new Mini Cooper (which by the way I want. I'm so over my suv).
Long story short, as he walks me out to my car, he picks up the teddy bear. However, the bear is so huge and the club is so small, he knocks over some of the club patron's drinks...
Ugghhh. Oh by the way; did I mention that the bear is used? It's slightly dirty and has a slight brown tint covering it's old turquoise fur. It is currently sitting on my front porch waiting for it's overdue trip to the Salvation Army.



Exhibit #2: Sassy Gift:

The Sunday before last, he presented me a more practical gift than the used stuffed animal. This time it was "boots" and punch.

I should follow that statement by adding that the boots are silver and really not boots. There are big gaping holes in them, intentionally, and resemble something a stripper would wear. A cheap stripper. A cheap stripper with three missing teeth in Willis, Texas.

The punch was Tampico. I didn't even look at the flavor. I know just by the name that I don't like Tampico.





But I love my Daddy.

You must be crazy if you don't love my Daddy's gifts. More to come... This Sunday it was food based.