Once again, I am convinced that people are crazy. I've recently been re-introduced to a exclusive sect of craziness that I'd almost forgotten about.
MULTI LEVEL MARKETING
"Multi Level Marketing; What's that", the unsuspecting reader might ask. Well, my ignorant friend, let me tell you. Multi Level Marketing ,according to Wikipedia, is: a term that describes a marketing structure used by some companies as part of their overall marketing strategy. It's also called direct selling, referral marketing, and pyramid selling. Oh, I've got your attention now; don't I? PYRAMID.
And, if it's on Wikipedia; it's got to be the truth right? That's a whole 'nother blog...
Still a bit confused? Let me do some name dropping for you: Avon, MaryKay, Pampered Chef, Cabi, Noni Juice, and the list goes on. and on. and on. and on. and on. I think you get the point.
There's a lot of these multi level marketing companies out there...
So, here's the deal. I've got no ethical beef with these companies. I don't think they are dishonest, unethical, or make horrible products. However, I do have beef with the damn fools that peddle their products and try to get me to "work under them" and recruit more people.
Here's my issue...
So, as I've mentioned up thread (well, really wasn't up thread but I read a lot of forums and they use that term a lot; so I needed to here).. Yes, up thread, I mentioned that I think the premise of MLM works. Basically, you are a rep (direct sales rep) for a product(s) and you sell the products/ services to the general public. Clearly, it's all direct sales; so no stores. Your customers tend to be family, friends, and you build from there.
However, the real money in these direct sales business is in recruiting more folks that peddle the products and the head peddler, then, makes residual income from the sales team's profits...
Have you ever reluctantly made a purchase from your neighbor who was peddling Mary Kay? You did it just to be nice. Then the next day, she slinks over and says "Jane, you always are so fashionable. Would you like to make some extra money?"
Now, they cleverly package this, because, how many people really DON'T want extra money?
So, the average UNTRAINED person says, "sure, extra money" with a goofy laugh...
Then, your neighbor invites you to the dynamic meeting on a Thursday evening, maybe Monday evening. You just have to come, she tells you. She uses "dynamic" a lot.
That's it!
She needs you to come to that damn sales meeting. This, my friends, is the breeding ground of the peddlers. They have these "success stories" like the mom who divorced her husband and didn't have money to put her kids in daycare, but needed to work. She started selling Mary Kay b/c she could do it and stay home with her kids. GUESS WHAT? She's got a pink Cadillac and has 1000 people working under her... It's amazing... Woo Hoo Clap! YAY!
They all use the same verbiage: It's wonderful to make a TON of money and be your own boss, you are investing in your own future, trends are showing that most products purchased in the US are headed towards direct sales, and of course; they spout some stat on how even in a down economy the product that they are peddling is fool proof. For makeup, they usually, say, "Ladies, even in a down economy, we are not getting rid of our makeup, right? We have to look good".
that's supposed to be the fire that gets you riled up and going, sign me up.
So, you sign up... But that's half the battle. Honey child, you gotta slang that product. Not only do you have to slang, but you better start recruiting your team.
It's like a gang...
OK, so if that isn't enough evidence, Your Honor, on why I think these people are crazy; allow me to provide a personal antidote.
So, a coworker approaches me abt some MLM business. This one happens to be voice over IP phone line systems. Clearly, a very popular trend right now...
He tells me that he's making tons of money with this business and he respects me so much that he wants to share with me. 1. I don't believe that he's making a ton of money. 2. Why me. He's never asked me to lunch, coffee, or anything. So, how did i have the golden ticket?
After dodging him for months, he comes into my office and hands my his cell phone. He says, "You've got to meet Mrs. X. Mrs X is our National Director and she's dynamic. (there's that word again)
Mrs X is flying to Houston and I've told her all about you and she just wants to say hi.
I reluctantly take his flip phone. Mrs X begins her pitch. She's perfected it, obviously. She tells me that this business has her flying all over the country, but she will be in Houston next week and she wants to meet me.
Trick #1: If I were an idiot, I would be impressed. I'd think, wow, Mrs X is traveling and she's going to carve out some time for me. Lil Ole Me? Not me. B/C... I'm not crazy.
So, I agree to a coffee meeting with Mrs X. Meanwhile, my coworker is practically drooling. He's telling me how lucky I am that I get to meet Mrs X. He tells me that she's a former doctor; that quit practicing medicine, just to pursue this business.
Trick #2: If I were an idiot, I would think: wow, this business has go to be foolproof! A doctor quit her job to do this... But, guess what? I ain't crazy....
So, Fast Forward. I am at Starbucks waiting on Mrs X to arrive... In my mind, I'm thinking Mrs X better be put together from head to toe.
So, in walks Mrs X. She's an attractive woman, but her wig is of poor quality and her entire demeanor totally reeks of Katy Mills Mall...
So, already I'm turned off...
So her spiel is like so: So, I was a doctor and one of my surgeon friends turned me on about this business. So, I stared doing it to simply pay my country club dues. I'm a huge golfer. My monthly dues were $2500.00 and this was just going to cover that.
Trick #3: If I were an idiot, I'd be impressed that this woman belongs to a country club... and then started doing this just to cover her dues; which were $2500. OMG, I am so excited. But, I'm no fool..
My hands hurt, so I wont bore you with the rest of the tricks. You can hit me up for more.
But, bottom line, Mrs X used the same verbiage/lines that have been used on me with Cabi Clothing, Body Magic Girdles, Mary Kay, Primerica, and all the other MLM.
So, here's the kicker. I get home and research Mrs X on my handy dandy Google...
Add yall, this woman used every single line verbatim on a informerical for PrePaid Legal, another MLM...
The same exact verbiage.
I did more research... Apparently, she's done all the MLM products and uses the same speech on those. She's left every MLM under heavy scrutiny...
She's the Erika Kane of MLM. The Heidi Pratt, the the the... Well, you get it.
She ain't s*it...
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Naw, I don't want to peddle your knives, financial planning, or anything else. I've heard all the lines before. I'm comfortable working for The Man!
As a matter of fact, The Man might be reading... Thanks Man! I love my corporate job...
Oh, and yesterday this woman this random waoman tried to get me to go to theis dynamic meeting for Primerica. I had to tell her, Naw, I aint peddling that.
